Let me tell you something that might not show up in your wedding Pinterest board:
The most important thing you can do on your wedding day… is just be there.
Not physically — you’ll have that covered. I’m talking about mentally, emotionally, spiritually — however you want to phrase it — being present.
The best moments aren’t always posed. They’re lived.
Wait, people forget to be present on their wedding day?
Yup. And believe me, it shows up in the film.
I once filmed a wedding where the bride spent nearly the entire day troubleshooting. She was managing logistics, texting family members, directing helpers, asking her dad if Aunt So-and-So had arrived with the place settings yet, and checking if Cousin So-and-So had the ice.
During her first look with her dad — a moment that should have been pure heart — she smiled politely for the camera and immediately pivoted to questions about reception details.
The footage? Well, it was all there: the dress, the smiles, the speeches. But the emotion? It was hard to catch. The best-laid plans don’t matter much if you’re not there to live them.
This should’ve been a core memory. But stress doesn’t leave much room for magic.
But then… there are couples who get it.
I once worked with a couple who had to move their ceremony indoors last-minute because of a surprise thunderstorm. You’d think this would be cause for panic — but nope. They were unfazed. Grinning, relaxed, and more excited to be married than to have the perfect weather or scenery. Their video? Full of laughter, teary-eyed vows, and cozy, candlelit beauty that no one could have planned better.
And then there was the groom who kept whispering to himself, “This is it… here we go,” before turning to see his bride for the first time. He welled up instantly and said he’d missed her so much already — even though they’d only been apart a few hours. It’s one of the most honest, heartfelt moments I’ve ever captured.
And it happened because he was in it — not thinking about the schedule or centerpieces. Just her.
‘This is it.’ No distractions. Just the good stuff.
Why presence matters for the film — and for you
You don’t need to perform for the camera. You just need to be you.
The laughter in a quiet hallway, the whispered joke on the way to portraits, the comfort of your partner’s hand in yours — that’s what makes your film feel like you. That’s what you (and your future kids!) will want to see years from now.
But if you’re running the whole operation like a cruise ship director, or stuck in your head worrying about timelines, it’s harder for those honest, unrepeatable moments to unfold. You start posing instead of reacting. Smiling instead of feeling. And those memories don’t land quite the same.
This coffee break? One of the couple’s favorite moments. Not because it was ‘pretty’ — but because it was them.
So how do you stay present when the day is so jam-packed?
Here are a few real, practical ways to make room for presence on your wedding day:
1. Do a first look (or at least a first touch)
It’s not just about pretty photos — it’s about grounding yourself in the one person who actually gets what you’re feeling. Couples almost always walk away from this moment more relaxed, connected, and ready to take on the day as a team.
2. Hire a real planner (or at least a day-of coordinator)
I love a DIY moment as much as the next guy, but trying to wrangle vendors, family members, and 14 bags of ice while also getting married is… not the vibe. When you’ve got someone with experience managing the flow of the day, you get to let go — and that freedom? It shows up on camera.
3. Watch your vendor team’s energy
You’d be surprised how much couples take their cues from the people around them. If your planner looks panicked or your photographer keeps yelling about being behind schedule, you’re going to feel it.
But when your team is calm, encouraging, and genuinely happy to be there? It sets the tone for the whole day. (That’s why I keep it light, encouraging, and 90% smiley nods and thumbs up — even if we’re winging it in a thunderstorm.)
4. Build breathing room into your schedule
Ten minutes to sip champagne. A quiet moment with your new spouse before the reception. Time to actually attend your cocktail hour (yes, you’re allowed). The more space you give yourself, the more you’ll actually remember the day — instead of just watching it back later.
5. Remember what actually matters
At the end of the day, your guests won’t remember if the candles were the wrong height. But they will remember how you looked at each other. The joy. The vibe. The genuine love you brought into the room.
And you’ll feel it, too, every time you watch it back.
TL;DR: You don’t need more stuff. You just need to show up.
Not as Wedding Barbie and Ken, or as project managers in formalwear — but as yourselves.
Let yourself feel the day. Laugh when something goes wrong. Cry when something goes right.
Because the one thing that turns your wedding film from a highlight reel into a love story… is presence.
And I’ll be there, cameras rolling, ready to catch it.
You lived it. I’ll help you remember it.
Ready to ditch the stress and soak it all in?
Let’s chat about how we can build a day that feels good and films beautifully.
👉 Let’s Connect
Or go scroll some highlight films of couples who nailed the art of being present.
